A Survivor's Perspective
I get to interact with a lot of women. Many of whom are survivors of domestic violence like myself. Its so important that women find their voice and understand that they have support and encouragement. I set out to publish stories from women all over about how they have survived domestic violence and are now thriving. Remember, Your voice is your most powerful gift.
Read this story from Jamaica of South Carolina.
I don't really know how to start but I guess from the first time I was a victim to DV. Back in 2003-2004 I got with my second daughter's father. Like always in the beginning it was great. We were young, adventurous, and happy I thought. He begin to hangout more and more heavily involved with drugs. I can't remember the reason why he hit/fought me but from that time it was just a never ending thing. Through the course of the relationship it got worse because I became pregnant and weapons started being involved. He shot at me twice, once in my house and the bullet grazed me on my arm, the second time in my car because I wouldn't let him change the CD and the bullet went through the dashboard after that he began to pull me from the passenger seat over to the driver seat pounding on me like being shot at wasn't enough. I went through being drug up and down the stairs, kicked out of moving cars, choked with bare hands and charger cords, can goods thrown at me, and beaten out of my sleep. He came to my job and beat me senseless because I discovered he was cheating and had a baby on the way. The final straw with him was when he threw my 2 month old baby out of the car and ran me over trying to get away. After all of that he finally got jail time. It seems like after him I kept finding guys that just wanted to abuse me. The next guy he abused me sexually and physically. I can't remember when it started but in order to get a ride to work I had to sexually please him. One day I didn't want to because my children were up and I didn't want to ignore them, he punched me so hard that my lip instantly swell and opened up. I had to get 32 stitches in my bottom lip. I was so embarrassed that I told everyone I had gotten into a car accident. I played my part to get a little ahead so I kept him around for a purpose. Another time I went out with my brother and his girlfriend which was my best friend. I came home, he thought I was out being hot and he started fighting me. My body went through the wall and that time I was able to get the best of him. Last but not least he sexually assaulted me because I was sleep and he was having intercourse with me. My brother entered my house which woke me up to realize what was happening, I started screaming that he raped me. He persisted it wasn't rape because I was his (bitch). I continue calling it rape which I guess it frustrated him more until he went off on me and shut me up for good. The guy after him wasn't so much physical but he was more on the destructive side. He would destroy my things in my home. This guy I actually got the best of him after everything the other guys put me through my mind process was me or them. This particular night I invited a friend over and my boyfriend didn't like it. He started rearranging furniture which I knew what that meant. I tired to stay calm through it all until he closed handed punched me in my face and told me I was disrespectful for inviting a friend over. I was so shocked because he never did anything like that before. I gave him the opportunity to leave before I got mad. He refused to leave so I said you got 5 seconds to leave or it's on, he brushed me off again. By this time I didn't know my oldest called the police they ended up calling back which distracted him, while it gave me the chance to pick my granny's old school candy dish off the table. I hit him so hard in the head that he fainted and bleed instantly poured out. I thought he was dead and that my life was over. I just knew I was going up the road to peewee valley away from my kids. Luckily my kids saved my life because one was old enough to talk to tell them what had happened. Next this guy I thought he worked for Satan himself. I didn't like him in the beginning or should I say attracted to him but he grew on me somehow. Like always it was all good in the beginning. We did things, went out of town, and he always wanted to be under me. I didn't mind because I've been alone or felt alone all my life. Out the blue he just started to get possessive, jealous, and very demanding. I couldn't go around my family which later I'm grateful I didn't. I couldn't do or go anywhere without his approval, and he has access to everything that I earn, worked hard for, or had. He only put his hands on me once but that one time I literally almost died. One night I was sleep on the couch he was going through my phone seen a text that he couldn't make sense of and it was on from there. He came in the living room and slammed me on my head, drug me to my bedroom and it was world war 4. He choked me out that that my neighbors couldn't hear me, gagged me, pissed on me, pistol whipped me. I don't remember alot because I was in and out. When I came too o tried to stay calm so I could figure out how to escape. I almost got away once but that only made matters worse. I just made mind mind up to stop fighting. He beat and tortured me for over 4 hours. When it was over he took my phone, licence, car keys, and important documents on me and my kids. I had a child home at the time. I took me and my baby and ran to the fire station on Richmond rd. With no clothes or shoes on. When I got there I couldn't do nothing but collapse. They rushed me to st. Joesph east hospital and when 2 of my family members got there, they passed me up because I was so unrecognizable. My head was knotted up, my mouth was raw and wired shut, my eyes were swollen and shut. I had to be put in witness protection for awhile. I just wanted my kids so I went to my aunts house who raised me. He didn't know where she lived. I had nightmares for months that he was going to find me and kill me. Some months later the police tells me that he put alot of things in my name and that he was wanted for 2 murder charges. After him my life was so messed up and confused. Nothing made sense and I didn't care about nothing or anyone. I lost all my self love, self esteem, will power, and hope. I went through an episode of just giving myself up which some call (hoeing). That got old quickly because that wasn't me. I went many years before I took someone seriously or gave them my time. 2014 I finally gave some that I grew up with a chance. Being with him was alot of pressure because he was very popular and I was a nobody to plenty. No one wanted us together so I became a victim once again when I thought I didn't things right by not rushing, giving myself time, finding and loving me all over again. Nope I began to get stalked by someone he was dealing with while dealing with me. She stalked me for almost 3 years. She vandalized 2 of my vehicles, she's ran me over twice while I was on foot with her car, she would steak my house out for 10+ hours at a time, take pictures of me, my kids, and my house. She also would follow me to my job, to my kids daycare, and school. To this day I think she had a tracker on me. I had to relocate from Woodhill to tatescreek because the house had a car garage. She ended up locating me and broke in my home. She poisoned all of my food and drinks with gasoline, power steering fluid, and some type of acid. I lost so much weight, I almost lost my job, she caused me to have a case against me with cps. It was ongoing for nearly 8 months. I didn't know what else to do. I'm stressed he's stressed. I go out one night with my cousin she drops me off at home and he's waiting to fight me for what I had no idea. He starts punching me like he was Mike Tyson. I go wake my kids up so we can leave and go to my cousin's house that dropped me off. Once again I'm there looking like a raccoon. I go to the hospital they make it seem like it's my fault and that I put my children in Jeopardy In Harm's Way when all together I left my house and the situation to get away. I made the conscious decision that _____ you put your children through enough trying to live your life it's time for you to let them see the perks of life and enjoy life. I decided to pack all my things up move out of state I've been here going on two years and we are the happiest that we've ever been in life.
Send Jamaica some encouragement.